You remember in a very recent post with the Holy Grail being laid out as three simple words:

 

Relax

Live Longer

Well, I was too tired to lay it all out and explain this subtly complex but ridiculously simple belief system.  But I’ve got the energy now.  The point in life is not to obligate yourself or discipline yourself or put expectations on yourself but just live.  That’s it.

Breathe and meditate for 15 minutes morning and night.

Eat well.

That’s it.  Just live.  Relax and live.  Long life will follow.

We always complicate things, don’t we?

When someone tells you your terminal cancer is growing like a Colorado wildfire and another person tells you shark cartilage plus aloe plus an acid killing agent is THE KEY, you go for it.  Right?  Wouldn’t you?  Even if it cost over $1,000 but had some good track record data?  I mean, this guy tells me sharks never, ever get cancer.  I found out much later, after I’ve ordered the crap, that they do, indeed, get cancer.

When someone tells you this person is a great healer, you want to believe it when you pray together over the phone…and you even take away some useful things and visualize accordingly.

When someone tells you you have terminal cancer you will open up your pocketbook to any charlatan, snake oil salesmen and well-intentioned goofball on the planet.

Almost all of them convince you their cure will be the one.  (Except my guru.) They are always careful not to make you think it’s a silver bullet because who believes in Silver Bullets?  But when I was up in Wilkesboro the chiropractor there told us his vitamin C treatment was the only one to penetrate the blood-brain barrier.  That’s some serious she-yot if that’s what was actually happening.  What was most likely happening was that the vitamin C, a wickedly high anti-oxident, especially at his 5-hour infusion 5 times a week dosage, was just counteracting the oxidizing effects of my chemotherapy, Temodar.  You see, almost all chemos use oxidization to kill cancer cells.  We think of oxygen as great but in this case you need to think of it as rust.  Oxygen is actually one of the most destructive compounds on the planet — hence the obsession with antioxidents.  My chemo was meant to rust my cancer but I was putting tons of vitamin C to offset that rusting process.  I was killing the killer of my chemo.

So, the point is, that when you feel you’re on death row you’ll open up your wallet and devote hours and hours a day (Hell, Whatever It Takes!) doing some “alternative,” natural cures, if it might be the one, it just might NOT be the one more often than it is actually THE ONE.  The fact is that being an alternative, natural guy, these things appealed to me and sounded silver-bullet-esque in the face of death.

Not so says my Guru.  Chemo is the answer.  No alternative “healer” has ever said that to me.  Chemo.  Good?  Whaaat?

He’s probably the only guy who tells me he has no cure for my cancer.  Even the acupuncturist tells me the acupuncture world is not allowed to say they have a cure, implying that repeated visits will result in a cure.

He’s not one to foist ideas on you.  Instead, he asks, “do you have any questions for me, Adam?”

QUESTION:  I am tired of all the stuff in my house and tired of the clutter and want to keep things neat and uncluttered.

EXPECTED RESPONSE:  Yes, there is much worthiness in an ascetic lifestyle and an ascetic home.

HE THROWS ME A RIDICULOUS MARIANO RIVERA CUT FASTBALL:  No, that is not important.  In fact, it is irrelevant. Buy more stuff!”

QUESTION:  I have a hard time emptying my mind when I meditate.

EXPECTED RESPONSE:  It takes years to get to that point but we’ll get there.

ACTUAL RESPONSE:  What is the the brain’s job, Adam?  To think.  Your brain creates over one million thoughts in a day, most of which we aren’t even aware of.  Why stop something from doing its job?

QUESTION:  I’m supposed to breathe in for 7 seconds, hold for 4 and breathe out twice as long through my nostrils for 14 seconds.  At least that’s what I learned in yoga.

EXPECTED:  Yes, that is what is preferred.

ACTUAL:  Just breathe naturally.  (He then shows me how to breathe in and out.  It is SO natural).  NOTHING FORCED!!!!  Not at all disciplined like yoga.

In talking he offers up this comment:  “This lady comes to me and says which of these supplements should I take?

EXPECTED RESPONSE:  A, B, not C but definitely D.

ACTUAL RESPONSE:  Eat a healthy diet and you don’t need supplements.  In fact, they’re worthless.  Throw them away now!

MY RESPONSE:  So I should take my shark cartilage and aloe and…

RESPONSE:  No.  Just meditate and eat well.

Relax.  Live a long life.

A-ha!  The sneaky bastard was promising longer life.  He just didn’t offer something HE could give to ME.  I would have to find it.  With his caring guidance, of course.

That’s what it’s all about.  Relax.  Live long life.

This guy offers Laughter Yoga tomorrow and since laughter stimulates the immune system much more than anything they’ve ever found, I’ll be there.

Just ready to bust a gut!

TODAY’S POST

I’m Staying Put

Written a minute ago

At the first appointment, my guru claimed he couldn’t cure me of cancer.

Today I told him I knew fear and stress were the main enemies of the immune system and I’ve been afraid and stressed.

He tells me I’m staying put.

We talk through it.  Why would you pack your suitcase for New York if you’re not going.  You’re staying put and do nothing to prepare for going anywhere.

We meditate.  He answers a few questions.

I think he’s right.

Wooten & Adam

Link to Adam’s Obituary from Observer